What I hope

I debated all week about whether to post about the school shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Part of me didn’t want to as if by not posting anything, I could imagine it not happening. But obviously that hasn’t worked, because it did happen, and it has been on my mind ever since. So I thought, “What could I post about it on my education blog? What could I write especially when I am at a loss for words? How could I express what my heart feels inside for the families and friends of the victims?" I could give statistics about mass school shootings and provide links to all the media that give plenty of details about it. I could write about all the things that as a country we might do to prevent it from happening again. But I don’t want to do that, because writing about those things would make me feel hopeless. I don’t want to feel hopeless. I don’t want to feel scared every day to come to work. So I decided to write about hope. Hope for the future. I am a teacher. Every day I come to work and I look into the faces of students that come from a variety of backgrounds. As they look back at me, I don’t know what kind of morning they had. I don’t know if they ate a good breakfast, or slept well overnight. I don’t know much about what happens outside of the school day (except what they tell me and sometimes that is more than I wish I knew). But what I do know is what happens when they are with me. So my hope for the future is that while they are with me, they feel good about life. That as they learn day by day about science and English, that they also learn about being nice and about helping others. My hope is that they believe that people are mostly GOOD. My hope is that THEY will want to be GOOD. My hope is that in spite of the bad that happens in the world, that they have HOPE. That we all do!

Never Too Old for Santa

Watch this video, it will make your day! Merry Christmas!

Much to be Thankful For

     Today is a day to ponder and give thanks. Here are just a few of the things I am thankful for...

• A place to sleep each night
• Laying with my feet over the heater vent wrapped in a blanket with a good book
• A walk with my daughter on a crisp fall morning down the river path
• Good food with lots of family around
• Laughing over a good game of cards with friends
• The laundry all done and put away....even if for just one day
• Automatic washing machines and dishwashers
• Sunsets
• Drives through the country with my hubby
• Emails from my son in Washington
• A good movie with plenty of popcorn
• Holidays
• Season changes
• Students eager to learn
• A call or text from a friend that cares
• Answers to prayers
• Beautiful surroundings
• Freedom
• Love
• God
• Family
• Friends
• Education
• LIFE

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

RULES

     This is a well-worn copy of one of my favorite books. It was written for kids, and is one I recommend to my students if they are having trouble finding something to read in the library. I highly recommend it to you as well. It’s about a 12 year old girl named Catherine whose brother is autistic. Because he is autistic, the family is always teaching him the “rules of society”….you know, like keep your pants on in public, and when somebody says, hello, say hi back. The stuff most of us understand just because. Catherine goes to her brother’s behavior therapy sessions because it gives her alone time with her mother, something that is rare for her because of the care her brother requires. While at one of these sessions, Catherine notices a boy in a wheelchair that doesn’t speak. She also notices that he has a word tray where he forms sentences to communicate. As Catherine looks over his words, she realizes that he is limited in what he can say based on the words he has on his tray. So she starts making cards with interesting words printed on them and brings them to each session so that he has the ability to say more and more. They develop a friendship that she struggles with as she learns to deal with her other friends who aren’t as understanding of people with differences. It’s a great story that I found I related to the minute I started reading. The author seemed to have a deep understanding of what it is like to live with someone that is different than what the world deems “normal”.

                My oldest son who is now 23 was diagnosed high functioning autistic when he was 7. I have often thought about how much time we have spent teaching the “rules” to our son. Before he was diagnosed, I kept wondering why everyday things just didn’t seem apparent to him. I especially noticed this after my second son was born and seemed to be developing more typically. People can take for granted the things you learn from “just living”. These things don’t come naturally for those on the autism spectrum. This creates special problems for their families as they try to help their child learn how to act and be in public. Then they face the added frustration that usually children with autism don’t transfer the “rule” to new situations, so they are constantly trying to stay one step ahead of the game with preemptive advice for what to do in certain situations.

                Have you seen the TV program Parenthood? There is a character on that show named Max who has Asperger’s Syndrome (the highest functioning end of the autism spectrum). People who know me ask me if I have watched the show and if so, does this character, Max, do a good job of portraying what it is like to have an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and what it is like to live with it. I have watched the show and my answer to them is yes, Max’s behaviors are very typical of a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. However, I add, the family's reactions to Max make me want to cringe sometimes. It actually drives me crazy if you want to know the truth. I find myself screaming at the screen, “Give that boy some boundaries and rules for heaven’s sake.” Just because somebody is autistic doesn’t mean they can’t learn, and it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to keep the same rules as everyone else. Don’t just give in to them because you are afraid they will have a meltdown. I remember many times carrying my son out of a public place as he threw the mother of all tantrums because he wasn’t getting his way and everyone was staring at me in the process. I would drive home in tears because of embarrassment, but at the same time, I knew that over time I was teaching him that there are boundaries and rules and whether you like it or not, you have to live with them. This helped in later years when he had to sit in a seat at school, and he had to do his homework.

                I don’t claim to be an expert on autism, but I have lived with it for the past 23 years, and I have only had a few years in my teaching career where I didn’t have a child on the spectrum in my classroom. I also focused my entire Master’s thesis on autism, so I feel pretty qualified to at least give an educated opinion about it. So as both a parent and teacher with experience I would like to suggest a few “rules” that I have for parents and teachers. I believe these rules are beneficial and applicable to any student, not just those with autism. So please don’t stop reading (that’s if you’ve already made it this far) just because autism may not apply to you at the moment.

1. BE NICE

·         Teachers: If you are making your student’s life and the life of their parents difficult…..STOP IT!

·         Parents: If you are making the life of your child’s teacher difficult…..STOP IT!

Yes teachers you need to accommodate and have patience and help with organization and keeping parents informed. Yes, you do deserve respect, but you don’t have to be mean to get it. If you are not doing these things and you are being mean, then you need to STOP IT!

Yes parents, you need to sit with your child at home and help them with their work even when it is a daunting task. Yes your child does deserve the best a teacher can give, but remember that teachers are not superhuman. The teacher can’t possibly do everything that you sometimes think they should. You don’t have to be mean either. If you are not doing these things and you are being mean, then you need to STOP IT!

2. LET NATURAL CONSEQUENCES OCCUR

·         Parents, don’t threaten consequences you aren’t willing to follow through with because you hope your threat changes the unwanted behavior.

·         If your child breaks a rule, let them suffer the consequence, don’t step in to “save them”. You aren’t doing them any favors by doing this.

·         Teachers, keep parents informed about anything important. Don’t expect students to always tell their parents what you need them to know.

3. STAY INFORMED 

·         Parents, check online for grades and missing assignments often. Read school bulletins and contact teachers when you don’t know something.

·         Teachers, keep current on the latest methods and strategies for teaching not just students with disabilities but all students. Don’t fall into a comfort zone that may not be working.

4. DON’T BE AFRAID OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS

·         Parents remember that students hear what you say. When you tell them they can’t do something, they believe you. Tell them they can do it and encourage them to do their best, and if their limits do stop them, at least they tried. If they have a disability, don’t let it be an excuse. Don’t say to a teacher in front of them that you think it will be too hard for them to do. It may very well be too hard, but if they know that in the beginning…where is the effort?

·         Teachers when you set high expectations, students perform better. Let them know that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. Which brings up another point…if it’s not worth doing…then don’t do it. I hate aimless busy work.

Now if you would like to know some specific tips to helping children with autism, here are some helpful tips from “Teaching Community”.

If you would like to know more about autism go here.

For family and friend support of autism, visit here  I was introduced to this organization by James Vaughan, founder and president and a father of a son with autism.

I know this post is especially long, but it is a subject close to my heart and I hope that maybe something I have said is helpful to somebody that reads this. I welcome your thoughts and comments about this subject! Thanks for taking the time to read!

Power of Perspective

     Do you see the glass half empty or half full? I have always wanted to believe that I am a glass half full gal, but I know that isn’t always the case.

     This morning I was driving to work listening to the oldies channel when a James Taylor song came on the radio. I found myself singing along thinking to myself, “This song makes me happy.” The sun wasn’t up yet but the distant twilight was just beginning to peek out from the mountains so that I could see it was going to be a beautiful fall day. I passed by the same little field I always do and laughed to myself that I noticed it had been freshly plowed. The reason I laughed was because I realized that I gauge time by this little cornfield. When I see the dirt nicely smoothed out, I know it is early spring. Soon the little rows have formed and I know it’s been planted. The first time I see the little green stalks peeking out I know that school is almost out and summer is about to begin. I find myself mentally measuring them in July…as the words of my father and grandfather come back to me... “knee high by the fourth of July” always means a good crop of corn. Then when I see the tall and healthy stalks start to turn yellow I feel a little melancholy as I realize that winter is near. The finality of fall for me is when the stalks come down and the field gets plowed. I don’t know why, but when I see that, it makes me a bit sad to think of the dark and cold days ahead. Winter is when my glass becomes half empty.

     But this morning when I was listening to James and saw the field I felt happy, not sad. I made note of it because it was such a different feeling than I usually have when I see the corn gone. So that got me to thinking about perspective. It’s always amazed me how people can go through the same experience and yet their interpretation of it is different based on their perspective. For example, Hurricane Sandy passed through the East Coast this week and brought with it much devastation and heartache. Photos of the destruction have been plastered all over the news this week. Some people that are interviewed blame others for not being there fast enough to give aid, while others graciously thank all those that have helped. Why are some people bitter while others are grateful after experiencing the same traumatic event? It all comes back to perspective.

     One thing I find myself guilty of is passing up moments that could truly be enjoyed because I’m so worried about my perspective on things I have no control over. Like not enjoying a beautiful hot summer day because I’m too worried about how many days it’s been since it rained and I’m wondering how we will we ever have enough water next year. This is just silly. What power do I have to change when it rains? I don’t except for praying to a higher power that it will. I think that is why this morning I willed myself to “enjoy” the moment with my music and the twilight. Because right then at that moment, there was no reason to worry about the impending winter or the fact that the corn was gone for the season. It was all about perspective!

Thank You!

     Sometimes being a teacher can get you down, and you wonder if you really are making a difference. Then you have one of those moments when you remember why you do the things you do. Recently, I found these cute thank you notes in my mailbox at school. Thank you to the students that gave them to me, I will cherish them forever!

For the Birds

     The other day I was driving and saw a flock of birds perfectly synchronized in their flight. It was a beautiful sight as the birds together seemed to “dance” in the sky. I wondered how they could do it. How did they know what the other birds' movements were going to be? I didn’t think much more about it at the time, but then today came across this video of a flock of 5 million starlings as they tried to escape the pursuit of a single peregrine falcon. The video itself is beautifully magnificent, however, the idea of the flock protecting each other is what is truly fascinating. Each bird protects 7 others around it. Amazingly, with this system, not one of these birds succumbed to the falcon that day. So why all this talk about the birds? Because there is a lesson that can be learned from these starlings? What if we were surrounded each day by people who were looking out for us in some sort of synchronized movement and action. Apply it to school.  How much more effective is education when the student is surrounded by people who care about and support them. It takes a flock of parents, teachers, administrators, peers, and support staff to create the best environment for a student to thrive. The magic with the birds that day was that in helping  the starlings around them, they also ended up saving themselves.  Funny how that happens!

Goodbye Gloria

     I will never forget the day I met Gloria. We were both new teachers at a welcome breakfast excited to begin our new adventure. I had taught previously and so had she, but this was our first day at this school. We were newbies together. Gloria had an energy and likeability about her that immediately drew you to her. I knew I was going to like this woman from day one.....and I wasn't wrong. She and I only taught a few years together before she moved on to other work experiences, but in that short time, she made a huge impact on my life. I know she touched the lives of the students she taught as well. I would run into Gloria periodically when she visited her daughter, Janell, who lives in my neighborhood. She was always so positive when I would ask her how she was feeling as she battled cancer, not once, but twice. I always knew Gloria was special, but I didn't know about the struggles she had overcome until after her death. Who knew she had a learning disability, I didn't. Who knew she was told she couldn't do much more than put cookies in a cookie jar, I didn't. Why? Because Gloria never complained.....she just did what had to be done, and always with a positive attitude. Read about Gloria here and see what she really did overcome. Now there's a girl with grit. They say that the good die young. Gloria WAS good, and she passed away September 21, 2012.  Goodbye Dear Gloria, you may have lost your battle with cancer, but in the battle of life you WON!

True Grit

     I was reading an interesting Article on "Grit" on KSL and I have to agree with what it says. What do you think?

In the Beginning.....

Hello,

     I am new to the blogging world. I have read blogs for many years now, but this is my first attempt to create and keep one. Obviously I will be looking for help on the creative side of the blog. In truth, I have no clue how to set this up to look nice. I do, however, know where I can find some help with that. For now, I just want to say hi, and to say that I will be using this blog to post things I find interesting and important as they relate to education. I am a teacher. I currently teach 6th grade in a middle school and this year I began my 17th year. They haven't all been in a row, however. My first year was 25 years ago. I taught 4 years and then stayed home to be a full time mom for awhile and have been back at it for the past 13. I love it and I want to share that love with you. My last name is Wilde, hence the little play on words in the title.  So if you are reading this now, welcome to my "Wilde learning curve". Feel free to comment anytime.